I lost my job 10 months ago and now have no routine and find it hard to stay motivated. What can I do to keep my spirits up?

Unfortunately, with this economy you are not alone.  Losing your job can be a shock to your system.  When you lose your job, you will experience a series of losses.  The loss of income can be devastating.   You may feel the loss of social contact and miss the work friendships you have made.  It is very common to lose self-esteem when you lose your position and are unemployed.

 One of the first things you should do is take a realistic look at your finances.  See where you can cut back.  Cancel services that you do not need such as expensive cable tv and movie stations.  Check out low cost or no cost social activities at your local park district and library.  It is important to stay socially connected so you don’t feel isolated.  Often people feel a greater sense of self worth when they volunteer in their community.

 It is important to establish a new routine.  Don’t sleep in and don’t watch tv all day long.  Wake up in the morning, get dressed and approach your job search as if it was your new full-time job.  Keep regular hours and set clear goals for yourself such as callling a set number of contacts who may help with finding a new position.  Set time in your day to exercise.  You do have the time now to take a walk regularly and you’ll want to be in great shape when you arrive at your new job. 

 Remember to talk to family and friends.  It can be helpful to let others know how you are feeling.  Your family and friends can help support you emotionally (and perhaps financially) in this difficult time and they may have some excellent ideas and contacts to help you find a new position. 

 If you find yourself losing hope, feeling depressed, unable to sleep, drinking too much or having suicidal thoughts do not hesitate to seek help immediately.  Provena Mercy’s Behavioral Health Services offers free mental health assessments.  Call 1-630-801-2657 to schedule a confidential asssessment.

Answer submitted by Carol Doyle, Director of Business Development & Licensed Clinical Social Worker from  Provena Mercy Medical Center Behavioral Health Services.

I am a divorced Mom and have recently become an “Empty Nester.” My youngest child has just moved out for her first year of college. I am now living alone for the first time in my life. I don’t think I am depressed, but I do get the occasional blues. Are there some things that I can do to uplift my mood?

When our children are young,  we teach them to brush their teeth, to tie their shoes, to make their bed and to do their own laundry.  We do all these things in preparation for the time when they will leave home and become independent adults.   After all the car pooling, the battles over who has control of the tv and the loud music, there comes  a time when we launch our children from the home.  Wasn’t this the goal?  If so, how come I feel so blue?    It is absolutely normal to feel a sense of loss when your child, now a young adult, goes off to college.  It is ok to shed a few tears.
 You may  have so  much free time that you find yourself at loose ends or feeling a bit useless.   This is normal.  You don’t have to be depressed at this time of life.  Although you may still miss your child, this may be a time that is more relaxed, less demanding and and that you actually have time to try new hobbies or to focus on your career.    Have you ever wanted to learn a new language or take an exercise class or travel?  Now may be the time. 
If you find that you are having difficulty sleeping, are very weepy, can’t eat or eating too much and feeling worthless and hopeless perhaps you are not just experiencing the empty nest,  but experiencing depression.  Don’t be ashamed to seek counseling.  If you are feeling suicidal,  seek medical attention immediately.  Call Provena Mercy’s Behavioral Health Services for a confidential and free assessment at 630-801-2657.
You mention that you are divorced.  It is important that you seek social interaction with friends and family at this time so that you are not socially isolated.  Join a book club,  get involved with your church, take a class.  It is very important that you do not stay home alone all the time feeling lonely.  Again, if there are unresolved issues from the divorce,  this may be a great time to seek some counseling. 
Many women thoroughly enjoy this phase of their life and rediscover themselves as women, not just “mom.”   And don’t forget, your adult children still need you.  Your advice and guidance will still be needed as they venture out into the world.

Answer submitted by Carol Doyle, Director of Business Development & Licensed Clinical Social Worker from  Provena Mercy Medical Center Behavioral Health Services.